One of Those Talks (St. Joseph)

We all have one of those talks every now and then, with a special friend. One of those talks you really need, where time escapes you and you get lost in each others' words.

My friend was having a bad Monday, and I had been struggling with a few things of mine, and we both agreed a good talk was much needed.

We talked and talked about anything and everything that concerned or overjoyed us, from big plans upcoming retreats to little roommate issues. One thing that came up in the discussion was something I am having to face, something in I am having to deal with, that is causing me fear and feelings of trepidation and timidity. She is one of the few people I trust enough to confide in her my feelings of fear with this struggle, and she gave me the best advice.

She told me to pray to St. Joseph. St. Joseph, the earthly father of our lord, Jesus Christ. The man who goes unappreciated but who faced fear unlike any man. He was given the task of, as she reminded me, of raising the divine son of God into a good, humanly man. Not only that, but he, overnight had to come to terms with this, come to terms with the virgin nature of his birth, and come to terms with the seriousness of threats towards this baby and his mother's life. This man conquered his fear and was unshaken by it. He rode with his fear, and did what he needed.

As she told me all this, I listened intently. As I listened, I fiddled with my hemp rosary bracelet that another friend, currently away on missionary work in Honduras had made me. I glanced down at it as I did so, and noticed the rosary's medallion had a saint on it. To my surprise, the saint that I had never noticed, or I guess you could say never appreciated before, was St. Joseph. St. Joseph, Pray for us, the medallion read. I almost screamed when I saw it!

I instantly knew this was serendipity. This talk between my good friend and I was meant to be and was important and something I needed, and I am sure she did too. Every now and then God shows you things you would not otherwise see. He works through people, whether it was my friend talking to me, showing me her great Mary-like love, and reminding me of one of the strongest saints, one I could learn from. Or whether God acted through my friend in Honduras, who somehow knew (I just know she knew!) that I would need the guidance of St. Joseph soon. I cherish this night and this talk and see its importance in my life.

Despite the thunder and the lighting, God clears the clouds.

Love

Lately, I have been a little unhappy with my certain love life (or lack there of). The girl I am interested in doesn't know, and I wouldn't know how to say it even if I tried. She is amazing, and such a great person, and would not want to risk anything anyways.

But having said all this, it is not my purpose of writing. My purpose is that a dear friend of mine, is experiencing the opposite love life of mine, and I am so happy for him. He and his interest are not official, but being one of the few people that know about them and seeing their interactions just makes me really really happy for them. Every little time I hear of their hangouts or see them talking online I get all warm inside. They are so happy together and it makes me either forget about my problems or feel confident that their is hope for me.

This is easily one of my simpler blogs, but it just hit me today. I am a sappy romantic, and I love seeing my friend so energetic towards this girl he likes. May they have a good time together and enjoy themselves. I love you buddy!

9/11/11

In reflecting on the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on 9/11, I could not get my mind off of a thought.

The influx of status updates and tweets that are patriotic and pro-USA were not at all surprising. "God Bless America" seemed to be the most popular of the ones I have seen.

Instead of feeling patriotic, and warmed inside like I usually do when seeing an American flag or reading about great American historical events, these statuses and sayings did nothing but provoke another idea from within me.

This day is a pivotal day in our American history. It is unlike any thing we have ever experienced. Even Pearl Harbor, a similar attack on American soil is different in that we were already fighting a war in Europe at the time. The attacks on 9/11 caused so much confusion as to what was happening, why it was happening, who was attacking us, and even how?

Innocent people were killed by the hands of militant extremists from another land, people who disagree with us and our way of life. Even more people risked their lives to save the lives on the fringe, of the lives of those still holding on for dear life. The FDNY worked diligently through the wreckage, looking for any and every survivor possible. 9/11 was a day of infamy without a doubt.

Today, it is a day of patriotism, to remember the lives lost in the attacks and in the decade of war that would follow. It is also a day of celebration of the American way, the diligence to overcome adversary and to come out of a catastrophe stronger than before.

Despite this, when I see all the "God Bless America" posts or sayings on our many social networking sites, something inside me corrects the statement. Instead of "God Bless America", shouldn't it be "God Bless Everyone"?

Is it not the polarizing mindset of extremism and to some extent, patriotism, the cause of these attacks in the first place? Couldn't a worldly, respect-for-your-fellow-man (or woman) mindset cure the world of violence and terror like this?

I do not mean to take anything away from those who lost a loved one in the attacks, but rather, I offer another way of thinking. As a society of people, the world should learn from these attacks. Polarizing mindsets and extremism in any fashion is destructive to a common goal for humanity.

Is a peaceful world not what we all want?

God Bless Everyone.

A Brother's Text

Sometimes in life the littlest things can bring us down. The things that you think no one else will understand really eat at you. Things that shouldn't matter, that don't matter nit pick at us. You sit there feeling sorry for yourself. You wish things were different, in any way.

But then, a light pops up on your nightstand. Your phone. What's this? Whose contacting me at 2:43 in the morning? A text from a brother you miss dearly. Your best friend in the world. The text, going well over the 140 character limit, hits the spot just right. The metaphorical freight train that was your negativity has suddenly hit its brakes. Your train's pistons start reversing their direction. Amazingly, the train is going backwards now. The conductor is confused, but what can he do? The metaphorical negative train is going in reverse. In the direction it was meant to travel, and the negativity is falling away like Forrest Gump's leg braces (okay, maybe one too many metaphors?).

Things start too look up, and you remember how things should be.

Sometimes in life, all you need is something to snap you back.

Sometimes in life, a brother's text is all you need.

Reflections on the Week

I really need to start practicing what I preach. That is what I can pull out of my reflection of this week.

It's Sunday morning, and as of late, Sundays end up being my weekly look back. I am usually awake before everyone else around me, and the quietness of the apartment gives me time to thinkable reflect about the past week.

This past week has been one of the tougher one's for me. I have always been somewhat hard on myself, and this week could prove it. Thursday night started it. I let myself listen to negative thoughts directed toward myself, an that negative energy grew. Friday was a little better, because the extra long Labor Day weekend showed promise. Saturday started off fine enough, but negative thoughts crept back in I let I get the best of me. Though I would rather not mention what these negatives are, it will suffice to say that looking back on them proves how stupid and unimportant they are. How could I have let them eat at me like that, and ruin some perfectly good evenings for me?

That is a hypothetical question, of course, but one that my Sunday morning reflection gave me an answer to. I am a) too rough on myself, and b) I hold myself to such ridiculously high standards.

It is amazing how much I care for people who are important to me. This is not me doting on myself, but stating the true. When you are my friend and I trust you, I put 110% into our friendship. I am loyal, genuine, empathetic, completely invested in our friendship. I would be there for you if you called, and nothing could change that. I love all things good and bad about my friends because no one is perfect, and I love you for who you are!

But if, out of everything I just said, replaced "your friendship" for "myself", that would not hold true. I am an awful friend to myself. I beat myself up or stupid little things that no one else probably cares about or notices, and that mean nothing in the ultimate journey of life.

As for higher standards, it's simple. Some things friends of mine will do, I will see and smile or maybe laugh, even, and there is no judgement involved. I am not a judgmental person at all. But had it me doing the same thing, I would have a whole Sanhedrin of judges directed on myself. Why? Why do I do that? I know that I strive to be as healthy and responsible as possible, and sometimes lean for perfection in certain areas of life. But to this extent? Why?

I do not mean the for this entry to be sad and self-wallowing, because that is not my mindset at all while writing this. Rather, it's reflective in nature. I hope that by freewriting this, I can pull some answers and conclusions from these questions. Answers and conclusions that may take me some time to process. But I decided to post this because offers food reflection value for others out there.

Here is my reflection for you:
How many times have I ignored what God has given me?
How many times have I focused too inwardly?
How can I recognize God's gifts better and love myself better?
How can I use these gifts for the people around me?

God created us in his image, so why do we, why do I invest so much energy on the imperfections?