Decisions, decisions...

Haven't written in a while. But that doesn;t mean things have been boring. Something has been on my mind lately and I just need to write it out.

I have been feeling the stresses and pressures of my upcoming major coursework next year. As junior year draws closer, the certainty of my future does too. I am a nursing major, and have wanted to be a nurse for a while now. Since junior year in high school, taking an Anatomy and Physiology class that would spark my interest in health fields, I have been working really hard towards becoming a nurse. I have worked my butt off so far in college, delving mostly into sciences that, I do not necessarily enjoy day to day, but that I appreciate and that I have an aptitude for, apparently.

But recently, I have noticed that my interests have changed a lot since starting this journey towards my job and career. I have picked up blogging, and writing outside of the school-setting. Blogging and writing is something I enjoy, a true pleasure-based form of thinking for me. Not only my blogging, but other peoples blogging in fields like health, fitness, sports, and food/culture bring great excitement and joy to me.

Additionally, I have realized how much sports truly bring out an energy from me unlike anything else. I obviously am not athletic or able to play sports like many people aspire to, but I get great pleasure from all things sports. This love of sports has come across over the past two years with an interest in the world of sports communications. I listen to ESPN Radio as much as I can, absorbing things that people like Doug Gottlieb, Scott Van Pelt, and Colin Cowherd discuss. I love the whole business of sports, love the drama it brings across, and love how much analysis we can make on it. Every one has opinions, and discussing it with people as well as listening to people discuss it is really intriguing to me.

Nursing is something still interests me too, but I cannot help but question now. The pros of nursing is that it allows me to help people, in a very concrete way. The profession seems to be a good mixture of scientific and personal aspects that I can match well with. Nursing has great job security, seeing as we always seem to have a need for nurses in today's world. The money is pretty darn good, too. Nursing would allow me to pursue interests such as missionary work, which is important to me. However, what scares me about nursing is the risk I take with people's lives. I mean, lab work is all well and good with cadavers, but its real people I am working with here, real people's lives! Besides that, there isn't much that sets me off from nursing as a career.

With writing, I could something like journalism, of some sorts. I could really see myself working for some talk radio station, or working some newspaper as well. I know so little about this though, compared to nursing, which is essentially wired in my brain by now. What I do know, however, is that the job security of journalism sucks compared to nursing, especially in this economy. Any job I find is going to pay significantly less, also. That is, if I find a job. With the lack of jobs, whose to say I am not going to go after a job with thousands of people more qualified than me chasing after it as well. Additionally, I feel like I lack critical skills required for any non-healthcare business setting. I am taking a class now to work on that, but I still do not feel confident in that. I am not the natural go-getter, people person, that every employer today craves. On the bright side, with journalism, I could do missionary work and help people. Until this world is a utopia, there will always be people not spoken for in far off lands. There will always be words that others are to scared to say, and that is what excites me. I know I can find those words, and bring them to the surface.

So having said all this, I feel nervous at what feels like a critical point in my life. I feel like I would be, could be happy with the nursing career I am currently pursuing. But what if? What if this is my last chance to chase a dream? To chase a dream to be a sports broadcaster, to be a journalist speaking for others who cannot, to write something I can be proud of daily, that matters?

Nursing is the kind of degree here at university that is so competitive to gain entry into that it would be a close to impossible task to re-enter, were I to realize that nursing was in fact the right way to go for me. This is the source of all my stress, this is what I am forced to push to the back of my head, until Sunday nights when I decide to blog about. Decision, decisions...