Rocket

I cannot live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me. I cannot walk alone in this world with out you, in some form by my side. Your spirit flows within me, above me, around me, in the people I see daily, the ones I love, and the people I am in strife with. Encapsulate me your love, Oh lord.

Here I am, Lord, Ayyyy Oh, here I am. I offer myself completely to you, I throw my arms up, I lay prostrate for you. Do with me what you will. Your will alone, not mine. I am coming to realize that no matter how badly I want certain things in my life, maybe you are calling for me, saying "I hear you son, but you are meant for greater things. This is your purpose now. Be the best friend you can be to the people surrounding you, spread my love."

For once, I am so in love with that idea and content, I cannot fight it.

The Adventure, what a song.

I close my eyes, listen to the words, the music, and all I can think of is Jesus, the Father, the Holy Spirit. They all, as one Body, lift me up into the heavens, space, I shoot like a rocket, beyond the speed of sound, like a vessel for their love, in a metaphorical way, and my body and soul cease to exist as barriers to each other, but I am one being, not physical, but not completely spirit either. I offer my love to him, like he has for me a million times over, and there is no sadness or despair left in the world. I am his vessel. He blesses me with giving me a role in his Masterplan. What more can I want?

Volla 6

Volla 6 taught me:

1. That I am called where ever I am that just because I am a human does not mean I am not important to God. I feel like I have been in the shoes of St. Peter, like I am called. New favorite saint.

2. How much I missed 3 specific friends of mine. I saw them at mass at Volla, and instantly felt a huge lump in my throat for them. I missed them greatly. I felt really guilty about letting those friendships get so distant for no reason. I am going to change that

3. I have a new found appreciation for 2 other friends that I never did before.

4. Despite the previous 2, there are really some people in my life that make me just not wanna talk ever. Every time I do, its always me being shut down by them. Its easier to just not my voice my opinion or much of anything around them because honestly, I don't feel like anything I say will really matter.

5. A friend at Volla 6 taught me of the positive side of my introversion. I utilized it I think. Makes me feel adequate and not afflicted with introversion.

First

I am going to prove that nice guys don't finish last, they win in the end.
I am going to prove it, starting with you. I just need to work up the courage to go and put myself out there with you.
I am ready, yet need that push out the door and it can come from only me.
But I am going to do it. I know it. I can't not do it.
Be ready.

Love Never Fails

I found out today that a friend of mine is dating someone that they really really like.
I know that is like the most fourth grade sentence you could hear from me, but I don't care. I am so happy for him. To hear him talk about it, it makes me so happy. He is so giddy and giggly (yes there is a difference), and all he wants to do is talk about it. And all I want to do is listen, because I love to hear him this happy.

He seems so comfortable talking about it and I love every thing this is bringing him.

I just want to give him a big hug and congratulate him, but hey we are men (low pitch voice).

Haha.

But seriously, its got me thinking about me.
I am currently interested in two people right now, and don't really see if either of them are going anywhere, but boy, I would be open to it, Lord. I will not second guess your will (intentionally, that is), but I can pray that maybe, just maybe, your will lines up with my desires. In an ideal world, you know?

It gives me energy to talk to both of them and get to know them a little better even if it turns out to be nothing. And it gives me great energy to listen to my friend tell me all about his new found love.

I believe in love.
Love never fails.

Therese

“Be not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk.”

—	St. Therese of Lisieux

It's Been A While

Since I felt this. Lots to think about.

Monk with No Name

I read this a few days ago and its been on my mind ever since then. Its a meditation I found while surfing the internet. The meditation is from a Catholic Monk with no name. Its message is incredibly strong.

"When love motivates us to reduce ourselves to nothing, we'll desire that God be all. God protects those who've made love their business, who've stopped worrying about themselves. They are amazingly unflappable and unassailable; after all, these unpretentious peacemakers live out the courage and strength of their love. If you haven't tried this yet, you should risk everything to learn how to love."

Love. Reducing ourselves to nothing. In what can I do that Lord. Make me your vessel; I can be an open door for your love. Just show me the way, for I am only a man. Lose myself in love. That is what I want.

Things I Think

Things I think today:

1. Being around a group who talks about when a lot of them turn 21, how they will go out and get drinks together, I can't help but wonder "Will anyone care when I turn 21? If I didn't mention my birthday, would anyone know?" It kind of makes me think of something I have always said: I think I will know I am in a great place when people (my friends) besides my mah, make me a cake on my birthday without me even mentioning or asking.

2. At the same time, its important to celebrate others, and I do love them all. I want them to be happy and would trade my happiness for them any day.

3. I am so anti polarizing people right now. Believe what you want, but dont force it on anyone. This world would be so much better off if people just let people alone.

Meditation

Found this online. I absolutely love this. I feel so at peace reading this. 

Stay in your body by refraining from leaving it. Desire and agitation lead you away. Settle and slow down. Your environment is agitating you—take it as a trial by fire.
Keep stillness and silence within you, even in the midst of what you may perceive as turmoil.
To you this town may seem like torture. To another person it may seem like heaven. The truth is in neither of those perspectives. You don’t need to transform your opinion about the town, you just need to let go of it.
You are here, in your body (or perhaps one could say the body is in You). Any departure from that is a kind of imagination. Here is Everywhere but not Everywhere is Here. When you are in silence there is nowhere to go where Being is not.
Daily meditation will help you to understand this through experience, and then remind you of it constantly. When you are not meditating, keep inwardly silent by remaining present as the uninvolved observer; silence is mindfulness.
And make peace with where you are, because there you are. Leave if you wish but do so from a place of acceptance.

Hope you enjoy.

Psychiatric

Psychiatric nursing. That's what I am thinking about doing. Helping people's mental health. That sounds grand. I am all about reminding people about their mental aspect of health. Have a slice of pizza... It's good for your psyche for your soul. I like the idea of it. I don't know we shall see.

I pray that God uses me as his guide to help my friends and the people I meet, to be just one person who makes a difference in their life. Go out of my way to show my affection and care. Because I really do care, and if everyone else is like me, they really really appreciate the little things like that. I will be there for them lord, and I will be an extension of your will.

That was random but how I'm feeling.