Letter to Myself

You have a lot on your mind.
You want it all right now, and you are impatient.
You idealize the perfect wife, the perfect life, the perfect family.
You ache and ache for it all, but you forget what is here now for you.
Friends.
Education.
Freedom.
Less responsibility.
Youth.
Health.
You appreciate all these things, but you forget one day you will be in love with that perfect girl, and have kids, and whatever crosses your mind.
But will you miss the times spent thinking ahead?
Will you miss the time you spent finding yourself, growing comfortable with who you are?
Sit.
Be comfortable in where God has you right now.
You are here for a reason.
Here, geographically.
Here, in this given time period.
You are a 21 year old man, who is in just the right place.
You are not just where you need to be,
you are where you are needed to be.
God needs you now, and just realizing this is light years better than a lot of the people your age.
He has plans, plans for you, to reward you, to build you up, but first you have things to do for him. Its not an exchange. Its not a trade off of tasks. Its God's plan.
His masterplan.
Sorry, I usually capitalize that.
The Masterplan.
It hurts sometimes being uncomfortable with where you are at in the sequence of The Masterplan.
But that is what being his vessel is all about. Peter was not comfortable. Joseph was not comfortable. Paul. John the Baptist. The Apostles. They were uncomfortable too. They wondered, "why can't God's plan for me be as simple as marrying her, and being a father to my children." It hurts, and its hard. God knows. But he also knows a lot more than you do.
A lot more than you can know. That is why it is called The Masterplan, capital T, capital M.
Be comfortable where you are.
You know you are not left alone.
You do not forget that.
You just get antzy, antzy in the unknown.
Find comfort in the uncomfortable nature of The Masterplan.
You are not lost, you are not flailing around in life.
You are not just a sentient being on one of many planets in many solar systems or many galaxies.
You are his child.
And he knows how you are best used.
Find comfort in the unknown.
His Masterplan is unwinding.