Shoes

I meant to blog about this the other day when this was more fresh in my mind, but sadly life got in the way. I am going to try and write this as well as possible and try to remember it correctly, so here it goes.

The other day, a friend and I were casually talking. He and I were discussing things that really "grinded our gears." I mentioned things like slow walkers, ridiculous habits of professors of mine, and the divide between the rich and poor in this world. We continued to talk, when he started telling me about this person that he really did not care for. He described the numerous reasons why that person annoyed him, including the general lack of kindness in this person. The picture he painted of this person was needless to say, awful.

The more he talked about this person, the more I started to feel his annoyance. But right when I started to share my friends feelings on this person I had never even met, I caught myself. What am I doing? How can I feel this way, think this way about someone I had never met? I am not a judgmental person at all, but when I had this sentiment, I pulled back. I suddenly had a new train of thought, one that sadly, led me away, far away from my conversation with my friend. He continued to talk, but I was in my own head, thinking...

Who is this person, really? Where have they been? My friend had a very clear and defined judgement and decision made on who this person was and exactly why that person was the way he saw them. But is that really true. I started to think of all the things that go into and define a person and who they really are. Using myself as an example, I know that even the closest of all my friends still don't know every little thing, about me. Sure, they know a lot, don't get me wrong, but there are so many things that define who I am.

So I put myself in that person's metaphorical shoes, if only for just a minute. Where have I (that person) been in life, what things have I (that person) seen, that I (that person) have only seen in my (their) own unique way. Where had I (that person) been in the past hour, the past day, the past week, the past year? What have I (that person) overcome, and what am I (that person) still struggling with right now.

This thought really struck a chord with me. I did not bring it up to my friend as he talked, because that would be rude, for one, and because it was a new thought to me that I had not grasped completely. But for the rest of the day, well beyond that casual, 5-minute conversation with my buddy, this thought consumed my thoughts, if not sat at the back of my mind.

Life will present us with all kinds of people that we will naturally make decisions on. Its how we work. But we can never truly know what they are dealing with and what they have dealt with. So, regardless of how they present themselves to us, we must remember that we are all unique and all from different backgrounds. I think its best to be empathetic in our judgements, taking this into account, when we do make judgements on people. We all have our own shoes, equally worn and tired, dirty from walking our own individual paths.