My best friend is a genius.
This is exactly what I need.
~~~~~~~~~
My random thought for today is love. This is a big topic I know, I could probably write a billion blog posts about it but I want to focus in on something I have noticed lately. I think this one is for you all you singles out there!
As I observe more and more people around me searching for "love" I find myself feeling bad for all those girls (and guys) who have been tricked into settling for society's standards and definition of what love is.
People seem to think that love is something that has to be earned, something you have to be "good enough" for. The single people around me are becoming so discouraged, thinking that because no one "loves" them, that something must be wrong with them. They believe that "falling in love" with that special someone will bring them ultimate happiness and fulfillment. That finding that person will define who they are, and what the rest of their future looks like. BUT since when did you have to be in love to be happy? Since when did dating someone define you as a person? Remember when it used to be ok to have great relationships with FRIENDS?
Don't get me wrong, I AM NOT A PESSIMIST when it comes to love. I do believe there is a special someone out there for all of us and that finding that person can bring us a happiness unlike anything else. I am waiting for that special someone in my own life. I have friends that I believe are truly in love, and it is TRULY beautiful and such an inspiration to me. My only concern is that those single ladies (and guys) out there are losing sight of someone very important. Someone who DOES love them with the only kind of love that truly fulfills.
I AM in love. With the only person that is capable of loving me back unconditionally and without fail. And guess what? He is in LOVE with me too! I am his beloved. YOU are his beloved. We are all so caught up in trying to find that "cant-eat, cant-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff" that we forget about something much more fulfilling. A "Before I formed you I knew you, made you in his image, knows the depths of your heart, died on the cross for YOU" kind of love. THAT kind of love should be what defines us.
If there is anything I have learned over the past year or two, it is that we must love ourselves and be fully aware of God's immense love for us before we are even CAPABLE of loving another person. This is not an easy feat! But DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED! God works in mysterious ways my friends. If you are single, life is far from over for you. God is preparing and readying your heart and you are growing in more ways than you know. This way, when God places the right person in our lives, (WHICH HE WILL) we will be ready to love them with the kind of love that the Bible calls us to.
Next time you feel lonely or discouraged, just remember. You ARE the love of someone's life- HIS.
~~~~~~~~~~
She did not write this for me, but God this has helped me this weekend.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Today
God,
This hurts.
What is wrong with me?
I don't know.
Hypothetical question.
I am sick and tired of being told "your a catch" or "your going to make someone very happy someday."
She had good reasons, and honestly I cannot argue with it. I know she is doing exactly what she needs to do and I am happy she is moving in the right direction. I am so proud of her for that. It makes me so happy to know the good she is doing and will be doing in the very near future.
But what about me? How often do I ask for anything, God?
I am one hundred percent on board with your master plan, but will it ever cross my ideal path, God?
What is wrong with me? Am I good enough looking? I don't even care any more. I have been to hell and back in trying to change how I look, all my life, and I come to that I cannot win.
What can I do, God?
Guide me in the right direction, because right now I am low and I need some peace of mind.
I do thank you for giving me this day to live God.
Forgive me, I am only human in my questioning.
One of your many earthly sons,
Nikko
This hurts.
What is wrong with me?
I don't know.
Hypothetical question.
I am sick and tired of being told "your a catch" or "your going to make someone very happy someday."
She had good reasons, and honestly I cannot argue with it. I know she is doing exactly what she needs to do and I am happy she is moving in the right direction. I am so proud of her for that. It makes me so happy to know the good she is doing and will be doing in the very near future.
But what about me? How often do I ask for anything, God?
I am one hundred percent on board with your master plan, but will it ever cross my ideal path, God?
What is wrong with me? Am I good enough looking? I don't even care any more. I have been to hell and back in trying to change how I look, all my life, and I come to that I cannot win.
What can I do, God?
Guide me in the right direction, because right now I am low and I need some peace of mind.
I do thank you for giving me this day to live God.
Forgive me, I am only human in my questioning.
One of your many earthly sons,
Nikko
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
I Promised pt. 2
I have more on my mind. Something else, something completely different.
As of late, I have been continuing to talk to the girl I like, enjoying every chance I get to see her and get to know her.
But in this talking, I can't help but feel concerned sometimes that I am overbearing. I don't know why, but a lot of times, I feel overbearing. She has given me no reason to feel this way, do not get me wrong. But I guess I just always err on the side of caution when it comes to talking to her. My biggest fear right now is just being a pest.
I have absolutely no reason for why I feel this way, and I don't think I over talk her, or ever annoy her unless I am obviously trying to be playful.
I feel like if she was easier to read, I would be able to tell better if she wanted to hear more from me or less from me. She is so complex and has a deep personality that I have a truly hard time reading her. I don't blame my feelings of insecurity on this at all, but I do feel like it contributes to my uncertainty. The overall problem for me is just being unsure of myself.
I feel like I need to have those "go for it moments" I mentioned previously, more often.
Maybe the "go for it moments" I am talking about in moments of uncertainty is just to be simply straight up and ask her what I am curious about?
The good news is I still feel confident with her, even though I have a hard time reading how she feels.
This is what I have been thinking about and continue to think about. Hmmm.
As of late, I have been continuing to talk to the girl I like, enjoying every chance I get to see her and get to know her.
But in this talking, I can't help but feel concerned sometimes that I am overbearing. I don't know why, but a lot of times, I feel overbearing. She has given me no reason to feel this way, do not get me wrong. But I guess I just always err on the side of caution when it comes to talking to her. My biggest fear right now is just being a pest.
I have absolutely no reason for why I feel this way, and I don't think I over talk her, or ever annoy her unless I am obviously trying to be playful.
I feel like if she was easier to read, I would be able to tell better if she wanted to hear more from me or less from me. She is so complex and has a deep personality that I have a truly hard time reading her. I don't blame my feelings of insecurity on this at all, but I do feel like it contributes to my uncertainty. The overall problem for me is just being unsure of myself.
I feel like I need to have those "go for it moments" I mentioned previously, more often.
Maybe the "go for it moments" I am talking about in moments of uncertainty is just to be simply straight up and ask her what I am curious about?
The good news is I still feel confident with her, even though I have a hard time reading how she feels.
This is what I have been thinking about and continue to think about. Hmmm.
I Promised
I would blog about what has been on my mind, and I am following through with that promise.
There have been a number of things on my mind, so I will probably dedicate a few blog posts seeing as how I usually have a lot to say.
One thing that has been on my mind is the path my life is going in. Let me be clear. I have been on and off stressed lately about the things I am doing right now academically to get where I wanna be in the workforce a few years from now. I have wanted to be a nurse for a few years now, and have been working diligently to achieve this. Maybe it is just me being burnt out, but I am so sick of feeling a constant state of pressure about what I have to do to achieve this. The classes are extremely difficult, and I always feel like I am reaching my breaking point. This causes me to question how badly I really want to become a nurse. I feel like its a job that I don't know for sure I would enjoy, or at least could see myself finding out its not for me in the future. I also feel like I have reached my limit with the hardest class I have ever faced and yet I am so close. To some this may seem like I give this way too much thought, but this is what goes through my head.
In thinking about all of this, I try and think of things like this: Where do I see my life going in the best case scenario? What do I see myself doing? I have a very vague and general idea of what I want, and it goes a little something like this. I want to do something that helps other people. My whole life has been a blessing and real focused on me. I want to give back. Call it welcomed karma, or whatever you will, but I feel I have been given plenty in life and that it is my duty and responsibility to do whatever I can for my fellow man. I tend to think of this as some sort of mission work in places of need (South America or Africa, for example). Additionally, my faith is important to me (as you can tell from the Whisper To A Riot blog), and has shaped my whole life and who I am. I want to help others find that. I don't mean to convert people, but rather help people find what they are looking for in the faith. Sharing my faith would be an ultimate fulfillment to me. Thirdly, there are great people at every corner of this world. I would love to meet great people and take in what they have to offer, learning from their experiences and life stories. This is where things get vague and hard to explain. Hmm. Lastly, I want to be able to continue my writing, unprofessionally (of course, as if that was ever an option!), because it brings me great joy and peace of mind. My writing centers me, and I am really interested in its development over time.
What is so hard about this stressful situation is that I feel like all these things I want to do with my life are being blocked by all the seemingly arbitrary and monotonous (not to mention extremely difficult) school work I am putting in to get a degree, a diploma, a piece of paper, so I can get a job. How am I going to deal with this stressful situation with school? I don't know. My course of action right now is just to give it my all and hope for the best. Leave the rest up to God.
More to come on what else is on my mind. Stay tuned...
There have been a number of things on my mind, so I will probably dedicate a few blog posts seeing as how I usually have a lot to say.
One thing that has been on my mind is the path my life is going in. Let me be clear. I have been on and off stressed lately about the things I am doing right now academically to get where I wanna be in the workforce a few years from now. I have wanted to be a nurse for a few years now, and have been working diligently to achieve this. Maybe it is just me being burnt out, but I am so sick of feeling a constant state of pressure about what I have to do to achieve this. The classes are extremely difficult, and I always feel like I am reaching my breaking point. This causes me to question how badly I really want to become a nurse. I feel like its a job that I don't know for sure I would enjoy, or at least could see myself finding out its not for me in the future. I also feel like I have reached my limit with the hardest class I have ever faced and yet I am so close. To some this may seem like I give this way too much thought, but this is what goes through my head.
In thinking about all of this, I try and think of things like this: Where do I see my life going in the best case scenario? What do I see myself doing? I have a very vague and general idea of what I want, and it goes a little something like this. I want to do something that helps other people. My whole life has been a blessing and real focused on me. I want to give back. Call it welcomed karma, or whatever you will, but I feel I have been given plenty in life and that it is my duty and responsibility to do whatever I can for my fellow man. I tend to think of this as some sort of mission work in places of need (South America or Africa, for example). Additionally, my faith is important to me (as you can tell from the Whisper To A Riot blog), and has shaped my whole life and who I am. I want to help others find that. I don't mean to convert people, but rather help people find what they are looking for in the faith. Sharing my faith would be an ultimate fulfillment to me. Thirdly, there are great people at every corner of this world. I would love to meet great people and take in what they have to offer, learning from their experiences and life stories. This is where things get vague and hard to explain. Hmm. Lastly, I want to be able to continue my writing, unprofessionally (of course, as if that was ever an option!), because it brings me great joy and peace of mind. My writing centers me, and I am really interested in its development over time.
What is so hard about this stressful situation is that I feel like all these things I want to do with my life are being blocked by all the seemingly arbitrary and monotonous (not to mention extremely difficult) school work I am putting in to get a degree, a diploma, a piece of paper, so I can get a job. How am I going to deal with this stressful situation with school? I don't know. My course of action right now is just to give it my all and hope for the best. Leave the rest up to God.
More to come on what else is on my mind. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Thinking About
I have a lot on my mind.
So much to think about.
I need a chance to write it down, or sit and talk it out with someone.
I need a weekend to decompress these thoughts and figure it out!
Expect more on this later.
So much to think about.
I need a chance to write it down, or sit and talk it out with someone.
I need a weekend to decompress these thoughts and figure it out!
Expect more on this later.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Temple
Last night, I went to mass, and one of the readings I took especially to heart. I don't always hear a reading that I think long and hard about, but this one was one of the occasions I actually did. The reading was from 1 Corinthians, chapter 6, verses 13-15, to be exact.
Brothers and sisters:
The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the body;
God raised the Lord and will also raise us by his power.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with him.
Avoid immorality.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,
but the immoral person sins against his own body.
Do you not know that your body
is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you,
whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For you have been purchased at a price.
Therefore glorify God in your body.
At first hearing of this reading, I got stuck on the word immorality. I heard this word, and immediately was tempted to not pay attention, thinking this reading is nothing more than a reading about abstaining from sexual actions that are questionable at best. But, luckily, I continued to pay attention, and I am glad I did.
As I listened on, I thought of ways this reading applied to me, and realized this was a perfect reading for me; one that was exactly what I needed to hear. It gave me a new look and insight on my situation and recent past experiences.
One of the feeling I had felt about this situation was guilt. I had felt guilty and ashamed of how I had treated myself over the recent years. I felt unworthy of forgiveness for how I had treated myself, and not at peace with how to go about feeling okay with myself about it. Hearing this reading at mass really pinpointed something I had not really given much thought to. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? I guess I had always known this but always assumed this mean simply don't tattoo yourself or put yourself in dangerous situations. But this was one of those direct questions that I felt God was asking me through the speaker at mass. I heard this woman read, but I heard the words of God directing them straight to me. It was like, Nikko, do you realize your body is a member of me?
God had my full and undivided attention now, and I listened on. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you? This was a reiteration of the same question I was just asked a few lines before, but the temple analogy really hit it home. My value comes from things not of this world, but of God's, and of his gifts given to me. The connector between my valued, God-given gifts and personality is my human and Earthly body, and that I cannot do the good that God has made me to do without taking care of my Earthly body first.
Knowing who I am and hearing this reading made me realize I am doing what I need to do in spiritual nature, and have been all along. My struggles the past few years have humbled me and offered me a spiritual journey unlike one I could ever ask for. And though I still sometimes struggle to forgive myself, this reading really set me at ease and gave me some peace of mind on how I had treated myself over the past year or so. It has been a struggle, but I feel like hearing this and thinking of my body as a temple for the Holy Spirit within me, or maybe even as a vessel for the spiritual foundation I have discovered and built over the past year or so is really relieving and freeing. I feel free to continue to move on in the right direction, and continue to do everything I can and leave the rest to God's will.
Brothers and sisters:
The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the body;
God raised the Lord and will also raise us by his power.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with him.
Avoid immorality.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,
but the immoral person sins against his own body.
Do you not know that your body
is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you,
whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For you have been purchased at a price.
Therefore glorify God in your body.
At first hearing of this reading, I got stuck on the word immorality. I heard this word, and immediately was tempted to not pay attention, thinking this reading is nothing more than a reading about abstaining from sexual actions that are questionable at best. But, luckily, I continued to pay attention, and I am glad I did.
As I listened on, I thought of ways this reading applied to me, and realized this was a perfect reading for me; one that was exactly what I needed to hear. It gave me a new look and insight on my situation and recent past experiences.
One of the feeling I had felt about this situation was guilt. I had felt guilty and ashamed of how I had treated myself over the recent years. I felt unworthy of forgiveness for how I had treated myself, and not at peace with how to go about feeling okay with myself about it. Hearing this reading at mass really pinpointed something I had not really given much thought to. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? I guess I had always known this but always assumed this mean simply don't tattoo yourself or put yourself in dangerous situations. But this was one of those direct questions that I felt God was asking me through the speaker at mass. I heard this woman read, but I heard the words of God directing them straight to me. It was like, Nikko, do you realize your body is a member of me?
God had my full and undivided attention now, and I listened on. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you? This was a reiteration of the same question I was just asked a few lines before, but the temple analogy really hit it home. My value comes from things not of this world, but of God's, and of his gifts given to me. The connector between my valued, God-given gifts and personality is my human and Earthly body, and that I cannot do the good that God has made me to do without taking care of my Earthly body first.
Knowing who I am and hearing this reading made me realize I am doing what I need to do in spiritual nature, and have been all along. My struggles the past few years have humbled me and offered me a spiritual journey unlike one I could ever ask for. And though I still sometimes struggle to forgive myself, this reading really set me at ease and gave me some peace of mind on how I had treated myself over the past year or so. It has been a struggle, but I feel like hearing this and thinking of my body as a temple for the Holy Spirit within me, or maybe even as a vessel for the spiritual foundation I have discovered and built over the past year or so is really relieving and freeing. I feel free to continue to move on in the right direction, and continue to do everything I can and leave the rest to God's will.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Rollercoaster (Hands in the Air)
I have such a strong sensation right now.
I am spending my last night with my family before I go back to school for the semester. So much has been discussed this break between me and my friends, me and my family. So much has been said and so much has changed. The sensation I feel is like I just got done riding up to the top of a tall roller coaster, and I am anticipating the fast descent down the rest of the ride, hands in the air as I go!
So many good things are in my nearest reach this semester. So much that is new and different is coming my way. But with that comes a lot of uncertainty and a lot of things that I am hoping will go well simultaneously with this newly found good. The anticipation of this good is great, do not get me wrong. I am giddy at the prospect of these good things coming my way. But some things I need to take care of this semester really put pressure on me. I worry if I do not take care of my issues that these good things cannot happen.
I know I am not alone in all this, and I have the great people around me for help, but I still feel the pressure. I am ready to do well with this, and so beyond ready to turn the page of the part of my life that contains these tough issues. I am ready to begin the next chapter and have a great semester and a great spring.
I hope and I pray that the Lord can provide me with anything I will need, that he will provide a path, the right path, for me to follow. I pray he will allow me the grace to realize his heavenly assistance when it comes my way, and that I will be able to accept his will. I have faith he will provide for me.
I am spending my last night with my family before I go back to school for the semester. So much has been discussed this break between me and my friends, me and my family. So much has been said and so much has changed. The sensation I feel is like I just got done riding up to the top of a tall roller coaster, and I am anticipating the fast descent down the rest of the ride, hands in the air as I go!
So many good things are in my nearest reach this semester. So much that is new and different is coming my way. But with that comes a lot of uncertainty and a lot of things that I am hoping will go well simultaneously with this newly found good. The anticipation of this good is great, do not get me wrong. I am giddy at the prospect of these good things coming my way. But some things I need to take care of this semester really put pressure on me. I worry if I do not take care of my issues that these good things cannot happen.
I know I am not alone in all this, and I have the great people around me for help, but I still feel the pressure. I am ready to do well with this, and so beyond ready to turn the page of the part of my life that contains these tough issues. I am ready to begin the next chapter and have a great semester and a great spring.
I hope and I pray that the Lord can provide me with anything I will need, that he will provide a path, the right path, for me to follow. I pray he will allow me the grace to realize his heavenly assistance when it comes my way, and that I will be able to accept his will. I have faith he will provide for me.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
1/5/2012
Today I had a conversation with a friend. He and I were talking about my self confidence and self image issues. He was well aware of these issues before, and he knew that I have a hard time seeing my self worth. We had talked before about how I have a harder time seeing the things that others love so much about me. I told him I was working on it, but that its not an easy task.
As we talked, he made a very interesting suggestion. He asked me to hear him out, but to try and imagine a close friend that you really trust and am close to. He suggested I imagine them listening to me say the things I am about my self confidence, and to imagine what they would say. He said "imagine, if they had something they love about you that they wish you would know and they told you this. What do you think they would say?" This was so hard to think of. Trying to pinpoint what others love about me, especially a specific friend, loves about me. But my friend persisted, so I played along. I picked a special friend, like he said, and thought long and hard about what she would tell me. I finally had an answer for him.
This exercise he had so marvelously come up with (I love him for it) taught me something really important. If you ever feel low on self-confidence/image/esteem/whateverwordyoucanthinkof, try and imagine one of your closest friends telling you what they cherish about you. You might be surprised how well this works, and what they say in the hypothetical situation. Who knows, maybe even actually asking them can work even better. Either way you do it, I think you will find that it is a great way to remember what value you bring to the table of life, and you can also be reminded of what is important. As individuals, a lot of us have a hard time remembering the important things we bring to others lives. Its not the aesthetic or shallow things that are so "valued" in today's world. Your friends love you for the best, most important parts of you. Sometimes we all need a reminder, and by stepping out of ourselves and imagining us as others viewing ourselves (makes sense?) we can truly see the true, pure value of us, as an individual.
As we talked, he made a very interesting suggestion. He asked me to hear him out, but to try and imagine a close friend that you really trust and am close to. He suggested I imagine them listening to me say the things I am about my self confidence, and to imagine what they would say. He said "imagine, if they had something they love about you that they wish you would know and they told you this. What do you think they would say?" This was so hard to think of. Trying to pinpoint what others love about me, especially a specific friend, loves about me. But my friend persisted, so I played along. I picked a special friend, like he said, and thought long and hard about what she would tell me. I finally had an answer for him.
This exercise he had so marvelously come up with (I love him for it) taught me something really important. If you ever feel low on self-confidence/image/esteem/whateverwordyoucanthinkof, try and imagine one of your closest friends telling you what they cherish about you. You might be surprised how well this works, and what they say in the hypothetical situation. Who knows, maybe even actually asking them can work even better. Either way you do it, I think you will find that it is a great way to remember what value you bring to the table of life, and you can also be reminded of what is important. As individuals, a lot of us have a hard time remembering the important things we bring to others lives. Its not the aesthetic or shallow things that are so "valued" in today's world. Your friends love you for the best, most important parts of you. Sometimes we all need a reminder, and by stepping out of ourselves and imagining us as others viewing ourselves (makes sense?) we can truly see the true, pure value of us, as an individual.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Goals for the New Year
I realized last night, as the year changed, that I am very optimistic about this upcoming year. I have this feeling like this is gonna be one of those years to remember. I normally feel pretty indifferent on New Years Eve, with a "whats another year" attitude. But last night was different. So in the spirit of this new year, I would like to start it off right, with some goals I have for the year.
1. First and foremost, I want to overcome my biggest struggles, and get better on that front. I feel like I have a lot going for me in my life, but when I still feel hindered and unable to give of my full myself at times. I am doing better everyday with these struggles, and its not to say that my struggles will be over with overnight, but I think it is a reasonable goal to overcome it this year, and to keep moving in the right direction. I definitely think I have the perfect people in my life to help me stay on course.
2. I would like to continue growing specific relationships that I really cherish. I like this girl and would like to see where the year takes me with her. I am lucky to become her friend in 2011 and 2012 should be a good year for us no matter what happens. Fingers crossed for me with her, I feel like I need it! I also want to continue growing close to my brother. He and I have gradually become the closest of friends, and I want to be as good of a brother to him as I can, because I know he relies on me and looks up to me. Finally, I want to be the best friend I can be to everyone of my friends.
3. A reoccurring theme in my life right now is God's "Masterplan." In 2012, I want to continue noticing things that seem so little, but that in reality are huge stepping stones in God's plan. I find peace in life when I recognize all things that happen to me/through me are apart of his masterplan, and I want to continue my attitude of letting things happen. These past few months have really shown me that trusting in God's plan no matter the situation can truly bring magical things to your life.
4. I want to do more for others in 2012. Whether its volunteering more, going on mission trips during the school year, or just doing little things throughout my day for my friends and strangers alike, I want to do more for them. I don't feel like I didn't do enough in 2011, but I definitely know that I get great joy and energy in other people, and would love to help others in any way I can.
5. Lastly, I would like to get better about my self-confidence this year. This past year especially, I have been really low on the self-confidence and self-esteem totem poles (bad metaphor?). I still can't wrap my head around exactly why, though I have ideas, but I have a hard time seeing what others do in me. I feel like, even though I can't help it, this low self-esteem is really counterproductive to being my greatest me. I hope that I can grow this year to believe in myself and see what others see in me.
Those are my goals for the year! I think they are all pretty achievable. This year has a lot to look forward to, and I am confident, with a little initiative and mindfulness, as well as with the help of God, this can be one of the best years yet!
1. First and foremost, I want to overcome my biggest struggles, and get better on that front. I feel like I have a lot going for me in my life, but when I still feel hindered and unable to give of my full myself at times. I am doing better everyday with these struggles, and its not to say that my struggles will be over with overnight, but I think it is a reasonable goal to overcome it this year, and to keep moving in the right direction. I definitely think I have the perfect people in my life to help me stay on course.
2. I would like to continue growing specific relationships that I really cherish. I like this girl and would like to see where the year takes me with her. I am lucky to become her friend in 2011 and 2012 should be a good year for us no matter what happens. Fingers crossed for me with her, I feel like I need it! I also want to continue growing close to my brother. He and I have gradually become the closest of friends, and I want to be as good of a brother to him as I can, because I know he relies on me and looks up to me. Finally, I want to be the best friend I can be to everyone of my friends.
3. A reoccurring theme in my life right now is God's "Masterplan." In 2012, I want to continue noticing things that seem so little, but that in reality are huge stepping stones in God's plan. I find peace in life when I recognize all things that happen to me/through me are apart of his masterplan, and I want to continue my attitude of letting things happen. These past few months have really shown me that trusting in God's plan no matter the situation can truly bring magical things to your life.
4. I want to do more for others in 2012. Whether its volunteering more, going on mission trips during the school year, or just doing little things throughout my day for my friends and strangers alike, I want to do more for them. I don't feel like I didn't do enough in 2011, but I definitely know that I get great joy and energy in other people, and would love to help others in any way I can.
5. Lastly, I would like to get better about my self-confidence this year. This past year especially, I have been really low on the self-confidence and self-esteem totem poles (bad metaphor?). I still can't wrap my head around exactly why, though I have ideas, but I have a hard time seeing what others do in me. I feel like, even though I can't help it, this low self-esteem is really counterproductive to being my greatest me. I hope that I can grow this year to believe in myself and see what others see in me.
Those are my goals for the year! I think they are all pretty achievable. This year has a lot to look forward to, and I am confident, with a little initiative and mindfulness, as well as with the help of God, this can be one of the best years yet!
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