9/15

Update on my life GO:

1. Nursing school is good. I am a little nervous after this past clinical. My friend got yelled at today and my instructor said he was not prepared. It made me nervous that I wasn't prepared either. I am starting to get scared the closer I get to going to clinicals and working with real patients. I so badly want to be a good provider of healthcare for these people. There is nothing I more than that. God, bless in my actions, and pave the way for me to care for others like I am meant to do.

2. I have the biggest urge right now to buy canvas and paint and start painting. I am obsessed with abstract expressionist art, among other art forms. I have been looking at Klimt, Matisse, de Koonig, and Hoffman a lot lately. I wanna try and paint. Express myself. I have never done it before, and am not very talented.  But who cares? I like the style and I wanna try. I am addicted to color, and I want to make some fine creation.

3. I want passion in my life. I want to love this girl and to be loved. I want the intimacy that I get from a meaningful relationship. But I fail at that, so I naturally feel inclined to let myself be used in a fling. I know I won't do that. But its still frustrating. Granted, I do feel like I have these four friends, one guy, and three girls, all special in their own way, that are my best friends. And maybe my best friends can be the love of my life. Maybe I can dedicate myself completely to them. I love being there for them. I picked one friend up from the football game today because she was dehydrated and blacking out and needed me to help her home. I was so happy she called me and more than happy to  come and get her. I love being there for her, and maybe thats what I am supposed to be. Best boyfriend or best bestfriend? Who knows?

4. I miss my dog. Kilo. God. I look at him every time I open the phone. I love that dog. I also miss my family and can't wait to see them next week.

I thought I had more to say, but I guess not. That's all folks. I'm doing well, hope you are too. God bless.